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Cheddar-wrapped olives

Forgive me for my absence from your totally overloaded inbox. I had food poisoning a few weeks ago and subsequently spiraled into a period of cooking despair. Being hungry is at least 40% of my personality. Without it, I’m simply adrift! But I’m back, baby and hungrier than ever—just in time!

Since I started this newsletter, many people have asked, “When did your mom teach you how to cook?” No shade to Kathleen, who is queen of my heart, but she was not our family’s star chef. That title went to my dad, who taught me how to slice a red pepper skin-side down when I was realistically way too young to be handling knives. My brothers enjoyed a lot of shared interests with Dad: salmon fishing, shooting BB guns at soda cans, solving mental math problems at psychotic speeds. Unwilling to participate in a single one of these activities, I quickly clocked cooking as something Dad and I could do together.

Every holiday, Dad cooked up some elaborate and delectable feast for the whole family: goose stuffed with prunes, two kinds of paella, plates on plates of glazed root vegetables.  When I became old enough to be a help rather than a hindrance, I worked alongside him, chopping and slicing. The rewards were sweet: all-day snacking and high praise as “the best taste-tester in the world.”

While Dad’s more intricate feasts were a delight, my ideal holiday meal was always one we called “the nosh.” Generally reserved for our smaller family events, the nosh is a meal made entirely of appetizers. There’s a cheese plate, homemade breadsticks and maybe a salad or two. There are no fewer than 5 types of small, quaffable bites like bacon-wrapped water chestnuts or these olives wrapped in cheddar cheese pastry. Martinelli’s apple cider has given way to fancy champagne and caviar with blini—my oldest brother’s contribution.

If you too would like to have “the nosh” at some point before January 1, I have good news: the next few newsletters will be devoted to little snick-snacks you can put on your table. Consider this my homage to dear Dad, who will be spending this Thanksgiving kicking back and spoiling my dog Teddy with non-step pets while my brothers and I tackle the cooking. Enjoy a snack with him in mind—there’s nothing that makes him happier than a well-fed kid.

Cheddar-Wrapped Olives

About 3 dozen olives

A classic since the 1950s, these tasty little morsels are definitely not “good for you” but they are super delicious. They are a must at every Moberg gathering and one of the only items I specifically requested at my family wedding party earlier this year. Take them to a social soiree and you will discover which of your friends also has parents in their late 70s because they will exclaim, “Oh, I LOVE these!” while the rest of your friends glance suspiciously at the plate of orange mystery balls.

Ingredients:

• Two 10 oz jars pimento-stuffed martini olives

• 12 oz cheddar cheese, grated by hand (about 4 cups)

• 2 cups all-purpose flour

• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, softened

• 1/2 – 1 tsp cayenne, depending on spice tolerance

• Ice water, as needed

Directions:

Drain olives from their brine and put them on a dry paper towel to dry out a bit while you prepare the cheddar dough.

Combine the grated cheese, flour, butter and cayenne in a large bowl and knead with your hands for about 5 minutes (longer than you think!) until a homogenous dough forms, adding ice water a tsp at a time to help it come together if necessary.

It will look like this at first. Keep kneading!

Wow, magic!

Pinch off a 1-2 inch sphere of dough and flatten it into a disc in your palms. Add an olive to the center of the disc and work the dough around the olive, sealing it up on all sides. Roll it around in your palms to smooth any cracks and create an even-ish sphere.

Once you’ve done all the olives, pop them in the freezer on a sheet pan for 15-20 minutes. At this point, you can transfer them to a container and keep them in the freezer until they’re ready to bake or bake them right away in a 400 degree oven for 20-25 minutes until the pastry is set and the bottoms are slightly golden. Let them cool for a bit before eating to avoid a mouth inferno.

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Currently:

Currently reading: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, a book not really about time management at all, but rather the futility of trying to be in control of time in the first place. If you’re a Type A and obsessed with “doing things,” this book might just liberate you from your bullshit!

Currently eating the last slice of: This stupidly simple chocolate cake with tangy cream cheese frosting. When the cake craving strikes, this hits the spot.

Currently saving up for: A holiday boutique hosted at my friends’ bar and featuring beautiful gifts from my other friends, including woodwork, jewelry and cocktail kits! Get on that RSVP list if you’re an LA eastsider.